There is nothing around us today that promotes or inspires the idea of faithfulness. On the contrary, we are bombarded with everything that feeds our egos, stirs insatiability, ignites desire and tells us enough is never enough, framing the male mind with idea that lust, promiscuity and taking what doesn't belong to him is somehow acceptable and "normal". All this propaganda drives a "ME-centric" mentality as it cunningly pours honey on the slightest bit of conviction, slowly hardening us to the point we don't feel anything at all. We just do.
If it's not in deed it’s in thought, and one is as bad as the other. All action begins with thought, so those secrets we keep inside more often than not are a churning pool of temptation we continually go and dip our toes into. Women and men are alike in this but I am addressing the masculine for now. The Bible says that “as a man thinks, so is he” so what we are thinking in our minds will eventually finds its way out.
Whether it's commercials on television or billboards along the side of the road, or news stories that capture our attention and peak our interest to look further, we are perpetually enticed and deceived. You may call it coincidence but I call it STRATEGY. I'll go one step further; it's an all out war.
Men around the world, but especially in America, are seduced and lured into unfaithfulness. This doesn’t take away from personal responsibility though perhaps the deeds aren't necessarily matching the thoughts all the time, the temptations are like that wound that just won't seem to heal no matter what you put on it or that small gnat you can’t get out of your car. They continually bang at the door of our heart. Unfaithfulness is the thought infidelity is the deed.
Faithfulness is not just a word. It's not just a definition you search for in the dictionary, faithfulness is an action based in thought. It is always preceded by an honesty-based personal accounting that examines all the ramifications possible which are then taken into consideration as you look into the eyes of those a single act of unfaithfulness will dramatically affect.
First, I believe we are unfaithful to ourselves because if our conscience is working at all we know what we are about to do goes against an internal governor that knows the difference between right and wrong. Second and most importantly, it goes against a moral code written into the universe by God which all things are accountable to which says by doing such a thing we are committing an act of rebellion against Him for which we will reap the consequences. No matter how you slice it, a violation is a violation. Just because you don't get caught speeding doesn't mean you aren't guilty of speeding. God knows and sees all, including our thoughts.
I am going to be bold with this question and statement: I wonder what the actual statistics are in regards to the amount of marriages and deep personal relationships that have been utterly destroyed by things like Facebook? I personally know a few. You know, those forgotten friends and acquaintances or old flames that have come out of the woodwork only to wreak havoc in people's lives and marriages? How easy it is to carry on an emotional affair with someone when things just aren't going well at home, right? And what about sites like Tinder or others whose sole intention is making unfaithfulness EASY? Again, I'm not leaving women out of this but my focus is on the man who knowing better has a responsibility to act according to what he knows.
Faithfulness is not just for the man or woman who are married but for all the single people who are enticed by someone who is either married and/or committed. There is a word I used to say to my sons when they were young, that word is NO! I heard the story not long ago of a young bride-to-be at her wedding who stood before the pastor with her fiancé by her side and all those who had come to witness her $100,000 wedding... "I want to thank everyone for coming today" she said. "I especially want to thank my fiancé for sleeping with my best friend and maid of honor last night!" Saved by the bell, right! Thank God she found out the truth before she made the horrible mistake of marrying a man who could not even make it to the alter faithful.
Taking the words of Abraham Lincoln and mixing them with my own: "You can fool some of the people [and yourself] some of the time, but you can never fool the one who has been there and done that... EVER!" So you could never tell me you go into unfaithfulness without knowing. You will never convince me unfaithfulness is some naive act. You can never make me believe that our circumstances, which have everything to do with us concerning our personal relationships being out of whack, don't open the door to feeling like we deserve something better and that we should just make that happen. Or perhaps we want to pay someone back for hurting us deeply with the old "I'll show you" trick. I'm telling you, as a formerly unfaithful man, the consequences and ramifications as well as the leftovers that come as a result of our unfaithfulness will NEVER EVER leave you. But it won't just be you they won't leave; they will become permanent reminders in the hearts and minds of those who were directly in the path of such a devastating storm. Children especially reap the fruits of unfaithfulness. And if that's not bad enough, more often than not those children go onto, as adults, doing the very same things we have done. What we model and because of the pain of their own hurts and wounds, they emulate. Foolishness and folly: the gifts that keep on giving. Unfaithfulness is a wicked seed that gets passed on generation to generation.
Think about this for a moment. What businessman or woman wants an employee who is unable to personally control him or herself and undervalues their most precious possession, family, working for them? Not everyone cares, but principles are principles. If a person is willing to do that to the ones they supposedly love then the potential is very high that they cannot be trustworthy as an employee. Some who read may argue, but what's in a man comes out eventually. I’m just saying.
There is a verse in Proverbs that says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but it ends in death." Listen, let's be clear... death isn't always physical, it comes in many forms, but it's always death no matter what.
It's easy to believe when we get away with things and there is no consequence because we were not found out that we got off scott-free. It's easy when we believe the only one we're accountable to is ourselves. But if you actually imagine you are getting away with it, whether it's the physical act or the thoughts, or lets say, you are looking at things that you know inside aren't right and will only lead to more destructive things, think again.
Let me pass on some deep words of wisdom that are as true today as they were when they were written. Not my words but those of a man who by experience had been there and done that, and as a result, fires a warning shot over the bow of every soul that will ever live... "Why, my son, be captivated by a seducing woman [or anything that takes you captive in your mind - my words]? Why embrace a foreigner’s [someone who doesn’t belong to you] bosom? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of God, He observes all his paths. The iniquities of a wicked man will ensnare him. The cords of his sin will hold him down. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly." Proverbs 5:20-23 TLV
Think of it like this… faithfulness is POWER. It takes courage and wisdom, determination and keen discernment to turn the other way… to say NO! When we sow seeds of faithfulness it will reap a harvest of life. Generation after generation will follow in the footsteps you now choose to walk in. What path will you take? Not just now, but every minute of every single day?
Don't rob yourself or those you love or hope to love of a peaceful future. A moment now that starts in your mind out of whatever it is that is driving it is not worth the destruction it will reap as well as the undercurrent of guilt and shame it will remind you with forever. Take this as a warning from one who truly knows.
Jesus said if you are faithful in the little things [which are actually the big things], then you will be able to be trusted to be faithful with things far beyond imagination.
Learn faithfulness and then… be faithful.