TIME OUT!

These are unprecedented times to say the least…

If you listen to the news and the talking heads, you'd be convinced the worst is yet to come and that any ray of hope has left the planet for good. That this plague that is now upon us is the end of all we know and that the word recovery doesn't even exist in the vocabulary of this dire situation. But as bleak as it looks, I want to calm your minds and present a different picture for you to consider.

Nothing happens without there being a greater purpose behind it. Whether it’s good or nefarious, there is always a story behind the story. This time is no different. Though doom and gloom vomit out of those who peddle fear, and hopelessness the feeling of so many right now, I believe we are being given a "once in a lifetime" opportunity to, shall we say, put our houses in order. 

There are no guarantees in this life. None. What you’ve gained can in a moment be taken away, as many of you have seen and are now experiencing. I’ve lost everything several times in my life. The death of my first-born from a heroin overdose, jobs that paid me lots of money and benefits, cancer, my home, savings, hundreds of thousands in investments… yes I’ve lost most of what I’ve ever had. Not to mention the many whom I've loved that have died from horrible diseases, including my precious mother who meant the world to me over these last 8 years. There are no guarantees. We are all going to have those times come to us living in this world. For me, I’ve had to learn to live my life with my hands wide open. To not hold tight to what I think is mine and allow myself to embrace not only the brevity of life and things, and to stop and fully smell the roses blooming right now. To value what’s right in front of me.

Every time something extremely challenging and difficult happens I come to realize that God is wanting me to embrace His perspective about things; though I will say that came neither fast or easy. It took me many years of trials and tribulations as well as a lot of Q&A with God… usually questions on my part and quiet on His. His favorite answer is, "TRUST ME!" as every loss and trial brought me closer to Him. Each one played a part in the eviction of my skewed perspectives, my anger and serious disappointment which kept me chained to a state of mind that only perpetuated my personal slavery to hopelessness. Not that I have now arrived by any means, I mean after all I am human, but I’ve gained valuable insight that, in hindsight and wisdom, is transferable. 

This is a global reality taking place. Not one place has not been touched. Not one person completely safe. I’ve faced death several times in my life, and though I don’t talk about them much, they have left lasting impressions on my soul. By design God has let me taste my own frailty and the brevity of life. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes that "all is vanity!" It's true. We think we own it... but we don't. Later James said it like this, “You don’t even know if you will be alive tomorrow! For all you are is a mist that appears for a little while and then disappears.” James 4:14 You know that old saying, "here today, gone tomorrow", well, it's true too. 

So this is what I believe. God has put the whole world in time out. He's taking advantage of the circumstances to teach us something. Every single human is being given an opportunity to evaluate their perspectives on time, life, possessions and most importantly, what they believe and where they stand with God. You can kick and fight and piss and moan, but when all is said and done, every soul is going to stand face to face with the living God. Perhaps other things have occupied way too much space in your brain and created an interrupted view or wall to seeing the only One that really matters? Maybe the world and its offerings have become way too sweet in your mouth which has created an addiction to those foods that are loaded with, you know, empty calories? Or even worse, the stress and worries along with all the cares of this life have so weighed you down that the idea of trusting anyone other than yourself and your abilities to get the job done is nonexistent, removing any possibilities of dependence upon God, even if He does love and cares for you far more than you could ever imagine. Whatever that is, whatever it may be, this time out is time for us to put it all things in perspective.

You see, no one can control or fix this. No one can stop it. No one has that magic wand to suddenly make it all go away. But as always, and throughout time, there is only one answer, one remedy, one solution and one hope: God whose name is Yahweh! The God of all creation is giving each of us an opportunity to clean house and get things strait with Him. He is your hope and your answer. He is the way, the truth and the life… no matter what anyone says. The world is dying. Yes, I said it; just like us, it too is dying. Go visit a graveyard. Every one of those tombstones are telling you the same thing. Every soul who has come and gone for thousands of years, if they could, would look you square in the face and tell you, “WAKE UP! DON’T WAIT! EVERYTHING THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT AFTER THIS LIFE IS TRUE!”

It is no coincidence that it’s happening to the entire world at once. Things are changing and the truth is, time is short. Your answers are all found in one place; relationship with God through His Son, Jesus who stood in the gap for you and took the ultimate punishment of death which belongs to you because of sin. There’s no candy coating this. This is a NOW moment for each and every one of us. If you don't know God it's as simple as realizing you are a sinner and can't save yourself. Tell Him that and ask Him to forgive you, to save and deliver you. A single drop of faith is all it takes.

I want to leave you with this thought. In this global time out, take the time to let fear go... no matter what things look like. Turn off the news. Turn off the TV. Stop, look and listen… the flowers are beginning to bloom, take the time to smell them. Seek God while we are in this time with your whole heart! You may not get this time again. Take advantage of it. Repent, reconnect and realign your heart and mind with the source of life Himself, Yahweh and His Son, Jesus. He’s listening. I promise.

© 2020 Steven Bliss

HE WILL...

This is for one and all, to encourage you in these very uncertain times. Though these are God's promises to us all, as individual believers, they are extremely personal. 25 years ago I heard God tell me that Psalm 91 will be the “Psalm of the End”. That I was to memorize, remember and remind myself of it constantly. It is the Passover Psalm that pertains specifically to the LAST EXODUS that will happen at the end when Jesus Himself returns (Jeremiah 16:14-15; 23:5-8 see below). This psalm is deeply intimate between the individual and Yahweh Himself.

I may not be telling you anything you don't already know, but I’m reminding and encouraging each one of you to consider what's being said here. Psalm 91 is a self-talk grocery list for each believer to recount and remind themselves that God's promises, in the most horrific of times, are both YES and AMEN and are enough to sustain each and everyone who trusts Him. As the believer concludes and affirms his confidence in God, Yahweh immediately responds to their love, trust and faith in Him.

“Because you love Me, therefore I will deliver you. I will set you securely on high, because you know My Name. You will call on Me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you, and honor you, and with a long life I will satisfy you and let you see My SALVATION (Y'shua).” Psalm 91:14-16

Yes, y'shua-ti is the exact Hebrew word used here and not by accident. Why? Because the end is all about Y'shua, Jesus! His return, His rulership, His glory and His power! You will notice as well there are six "I will's" in these two verses. Six promises directly from the mouth of Yahweh Himself spoken to the heart and mind of the believer because of their faith and trust in Him. The ultimate expression of love between a Father and His child.

The time of Jacob's trouble has arrived. Let faith arise and God’s enemies be scattered. It’s time for the power of God to not just be reminisced about or bantered around as a thing of the past, but to be engaged and applied in each and every moment of our lives from this point on. Y'shua said, “When the Son of man returns, will He find faith in the earth?” I say, "YES LORD, YES!"

© 2020 Steven Bliss

“Therefore behold, the days come,” says the Lord, “that it will no more be said, ‘As the Lord lives, who brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;’ but, ‘As the Lord lives, who brought up the children of Israel from the land of the north, and from all the countries where he had driven them.’ I will bring them again into their land that I gave to their fathers. “Behold, I will send for many fishermen,” says the Lord, “and they will fish them up. Afterward I will send for many hunters, and they will hunt them from every mountain, from every hill, and out of the clefts of the rocks.
Jeremiah 16:14-16

“Behold, the days come,” says the Lord, “that I will raise to David a righteous Branch (Y'shua), and he will reign as king and deal wisely, and will execute justice and righteousness in the land. In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell safely. This is his name by which he will be called: The Lord our righteousness. “Therefore behold, the days come,” says the Lord, “that they will no more say, ‘As the Lord lives, who brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;’ but, ‘As the Lord lives, who brought up and who led the offspring of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all the countries where I had driven them.’ Then they will dwell in their own land.”
Jeremiah 23:5-8

HEADS IN THE SAND

     Though I was not born here, I have lived in the South for the past 25 years. After growing up in Saint Louis and then 13 years in Los Angeles, the South was a very different world for me when I arrived. I've grown fond of the little town I live in and have watched in amazement as not only my little town, but also the big city I live near, grow like a weed over the last 10 years.
     The area I live in has more churches per capita than any city in the world. Nashville, as well as its surrounding communities, is a church-saturated city. It offers a smorgasbord of Christianity… every kind, every denomination, every belief is here. As a result it is much like Jerusalem in the time of Jesus… the most religious city in the world.
     The late Billy Graham came to Nashville in 2000 for a crusade in the then new, Titans Stadium. He was interviewed on television at the time and asked the question, “Of all places to come, why did you choose Nashville when it has more churches than any other city in the United States?" His answer was, to put it mildly, shocking. He calmly and with boldness replied, "Where there is the most religion, it is the darkest." I remember thinking to myself at the time there was no way anyone is going to catch this, much less understand what he means by it. It will sail right over everyone's head.
     This is not about Nashville but about the body of Christ worldwide, especially in America. I'm not pointing my fingers at anyone, as I have none to point; this is an exhortation to all who read to consider what you are about to ingest.
     The apostle John writes this: Jesus said to them, "For a little while longer the Light is with you. Walk while The Light is with you lest the darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where he is going. While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may be children of The Light." John 12:35-36 His words were an urgent exhortation as He had just laid out for His disciples the plan and necessity of His death on the cross. But that urgency wasn't just for them, it spans the past 2000 years of history from the cross to now and means just as much to us today, if not more, than it ever did.
I find a curious thing happening throughout Christianity. The majority have buried their heads beneath the sand. They don't want to see what's coming. They don't want to know the realities of the unseen world that surrounds us. They don't want to understand darkness or the way that it works. They don't want to know that it's breathing down your necks every minute of every day. And more than anything, they don't want to know the end of all things. The majority of Christianity would prefer to stay safe and disconnected, uninvolved with reality. They are taught to only look for the positive and the uplifting! But whose life is full of only positive and uplifting things? They go to church on Sunday and midweek bible studies but beyond that they have no interest in understanding or discussing all the things happening right in front of our eyes and the very high possibility of the nearness of the coming of Jesus.
     We love religion because religion keeps God at a distance. The socialist Karl Marx said "religion is the opium of the masses". Religion is highly uncomfortable with the very reason Jesus came and died in the first place: restore INTIMACY with God! It was religion that drove the people at Sinai to tell Moses to go up on the mountain and talk to God himself because God was too scary for them. It was religion that built the golden calf. Religion is a barrier, a wall built within the soul that keeps a deep intimate relationship with God at bay. Intimacy is a bad word among many if not most in Christianity. Religion is the antithesis of what God desires: He wants us to KNOW Him. The Hebrew word for the kind of knowing God desires is yada. Adam yada Eve and she conceived a child. Genesis 4:1 Intimacy is not optional, it's mandatory. (see http://stevenbliss.blogspot.com/2010/10/yada-well-of-transformation.html) Religion knows that getting that close to God means we have to die to ourselves, and in this world at this time, preserving self is far more important than putting to death the very thing that causes separation with God in the first place.
     But here's the kicker, if you knew that the return of Jesus was imminent, within the next ten to twelve years, and that those years were going to be an accelerated progression of worse to worse to worse; and you were fully aware that time was beyond short, not just for your own life but for lives of everyone you love, not to mention the entire world; would you change the direction you are going? Would you pull your head out of the sand and urgently begin seeking God for the knowledge and understanding of what is taking place so that you could have the wisdom, courage, power and discernment to help others come to know the same truth? How many will be desperately searching for answers? How many will be crying out to be snatched from the fires that consume them? Let me ask you, who will have the answers at that point? Who will God use to deliver the message and walk in the power of God? Will it be you, or will you choose to close your eyes and turn away not even realizing that what you are seeing are the very things Jesus Himself said would happen just before He returns? 
     We all want positive things, good things, and wonderful things, but my friends, that's not what we were promised. Jesus said, "I have spoken these things to you so that you will have peace in Me. You shall have much suffering and tribulation and trials in this world, but take heart, I have overcome the world." John 16:33 The apostles taught persecution, trials and tribulations with the very real possibility of loosing their lives. They did not teach escapism. There is the large contingency within Christianity awaiting a Rapture. That sudden snatching away of the church in order to be spared the promised hard things that will come just before Jesus returns. But do you know the story of Passover? Does the Passover mean anything to you? Could there be something in the Passover itself and the way it took place that will be replayed in the end? 

     Did you know that the story of the Exodus will be repeated on a global scale at the end? Sadly most pastors and teachers turn their backs on the most prophetic of all stories leading their flocks astray as they relegate the Exodus and its prophesies to an old testament story that only pertained to the Hebrews at the time but has no relevance for believers today. The truth is, the exact opposite is true! The result disengaging with the Hebraic heritage of our faith, Christianity eagerly looks for the Great Escape as it closes its eyes and slips into a happy dream convinced that God will snatch them out before anything bad happens. It reminds me of the parable of the Ten Virgins. Five kept their lamps trimmed with extra oil so that they wouldn’t go out as they diligently kept watch in the dark for the coming of the Bridegroom, while the others paid no attention to the fact that their oil had run out causing their lamps to go out leaving them clueless as the darkness overwhelmed them and they fell asleep causing them to miss the most important event of their lives.  

     Christianity's Hebrew roots hold the answers to all you'll ever want to know regarding the end times things.
     The only thing the apostles were looking for was the immediate return of Jesus in their lifetime. They couldn’t see the big picture because the persecution and tribulation was constant and intense. They weren't looking for a rapture they were looking for the return. They did not have their heads buried in the sand; on the contrary they willingly gave their lives to help others know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter what they were required to endure. They lived in full expectation and anticipation.
     With all that's been said, I want to proclaim to one and all something that the apostles said twenty five times in the New Testament, I do not want you to be ignorant. There are seven Greek words that describe ignorant in those twenty five statements. Put together they cover the spectrum of ignorance: to be destitute of knowledge; uninstructed or uninformed; untaught; unenlightened; unacquainted with. To be unconscious or unaware, not knowing as a result of ignorance, a person who is untaught or uninformed on a specific matter. The perfect description of someone with their head buried in the sand. In 1 Corinthians 12:1 Paul says this, "Now concerning spiritual things, brothers, I don't want you to be ignorant..." but then he rebukes those who prefer living in ignorance, "But if anyone is ignorant, let them remain ignorant." 1 Corinthians 14:38 DON'T BE IGNORANT!
     Let me encourage you and stir you up from the wisdom of the ages, “How long, lazy person, will you lie down? When will you rise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to lie down— and poverty will come on you like a prowler, destitution like a warrior." Proverbs 6:9‭-‬11 CEB There's work to do. If you are a believer, sitting on your hands is not the point of salvation. You were saved and delivered not just to make it into heaven but to die to yourself so that Jesus might continue to live His life out in the world and save others just like He saved you!
     This is an exhortation and admonishment as well as a word of encouragement to take your head out of the sand. Don't ignore what's in front of you. What can be more exciting than to let the God of all creation live through you? Oh the power, the miracles, the pure joy of seeing God working through you! Ask Him to forgive you of your complacency and then let Him fill you up so that it's no longer you who is living but Him in and through you! That's life! That's when you will be the candle in the dark lighting the path to life for those who are lost. The choice is always yours!

by Steven Bliss
© 8/14/18

TO INSPIRE FAITHFULNESS

There is nothing around us today that promotes or inspires the idea of faithfulness. On the contrary, we are bombarded with everything that feeds our egos, stirs insatiability, ignites desire and tells us enough is never enough, framing the male mind with idea that lust, promiscuity and taking what doesn't belong to him is somehow acceptable and "normal". All this propaganda drives a "ME-centric" mentality as it cunningly pours honey on the slightest bit of conviction, slowly hardening us to the point we don't feel anything at all. We just do. 

If it's not in deed it’s in thought, and one is as bad as the other. All action begins with thought, so those secrets we keep inside more often than not are a churning pool of temptation we continually go and dip our toes into. Women and men are alike in this but I am addressing the masculine for now. The Bible says that “as a man thinks, so is he” so what we are thinking in our minds will eventually finds its way out.

Whether it's commercials on television or billboards along the side of the road, or news stories that capture our attention and peak our interest to look further, we are perpetually enticed and deceived. You may call it coincidence but I call it STRATEGY. I'll go one step further; it's an all out war. 

Men around the world, but especially in America, are seduced and lured into unfaithfulness. This doesn’t take away from personal responsibility though perhaps the deeds aren't necessarily matching the thoughts all the time, the temptations are like that wound that just won't seem to heal no matter what you put on it or that small gnat you can’t get out of your car. They continually bang at the door of our heart.  Unfaithfulness is the thought infidelity is the deed. 

Faithfulness is not just a word. It's not just a definition you search for in the dictionary, faithfulness is an action based in thought. It is always preceded by an honesty-based personal accounting that examines all the ramifications possible which are then taken into consideration as you look into the eyes of those a single act of unfaithfulness will dramatically affect. 

First, I believe we are unfaithful to ourselves because if our conscience is working at all we know what we are about to do goes against an internal governor that knows the difference between right and wrong. Second and most importantly, it goes against a moral code written into the universe by God which all things are accountable to which says by doing such a thing we are committing an act of rebellion against Him for which we will reap the consequences. No matter how you slice it, a violation is a violation. Just because you don't get caught speeding doesn't mean you aren't guilty of speeding. God knows and sees all, including our thoughts. 

I am going to be bold with this question and statement: I wonder what the actual statistics are in regards to the amount of marriages and deep personal relationships that have been utterly destroyed by things like Facebook? I personally know a few. You know, those forgotten friends and acquaintances or old flames that have come out of the woodwork only to wreak havoc in people's lives and marriages? How easy it is to carry on an emotional affair with someone when things just aren't going well at home, right? And what about sites like Tinder or others whose sole intention is making unfaithfulness EASY? Again, I'm not leaving women out of this but my focus is on the man who knowing better has a responsibility to act according to what he knows.

Faithfulness is not just for the man or woman who are married but for all the single people who are enticed by someone who is either married and/or committed. There is a word I used to say to my sons when they were young, that word is NO! I heard the story not long ago of a young bride-to-be at her wedding who stood before the pastor with her fiancé by her side and all those who had come to witness her $100,000 wedding... "I want to thank everyone for coming today" she said. "I especially want to thank my fiancé for sleeping with my best friend and maid of honor last night!" Saved by the bell, right! Thank God she found out the truth before she made the horrible mistake of marrying a man who could not even make it to the alter faithful.

Taking the words of Abraham Lincoln and mixing them with my own: "You can fool some of the people [and yourself] some of the time, but you can never fool the one who has been there and done that... EVER!" So you could never tell me you go into unfaithfulness without knowing. You will never convince me unfaithfulness is some naive act. You can never make me believe that our circumstances, which have everything to do with us concerning our personal relationships being out of whack, don't open the door to feeling like we deserve something better and that we should just make that happen. Or perhaps we want to pay someone back for hurting us deeply with the old "I'll show you" trick. I'm telling you, as a formerly unfaithful man, the consequences and ramifications as well as the leftovers that come as a result of our unfaithfulness will NEVER EVER leave you. But it won't just be you they won't leave; they will become permanent reminders in the hearts and minds of those who were directly in the path of such a devastating storm. Children especially reap the fruits of unfaithfulness. And if that's not bad enough, more often than not those children go onto, as adults, doing the very same things we have done. What we model and because of the pain of their own hurts and wounds, they emulate. Foolishness and folly: the gifts that keep on giving. Unfaithfulness is a wicked seed that gets passed on generation to generation.

            Think about this for a moment. What businessman or woman wants an employee who is unable to personally control him or herself and undervalues their most precious possession, family, working for them? Not everyone cares, but principles are principles. If a person is willing to do that to the ones they supposedly love then the potential is very high that they cannot be trustworthy as an employee. Some who read may argue, but what's in a man comes out eventually. I’m just saying.

            There is a verse in Proverbs that says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but it ends in death." Listen, let's be clear... death isn't always physical, it comes in many forms, but it's always death no matter what. 

It's easy to believe when we get away with things and there is no consequence because we were not found out that we got off scott-free. It's easy when we believe the only one we're accountable to is ourselves. But if you actually imagine you are getting away with it, whether it's the physical act or the thoughts, or lets say, you are looking at things that you know inside aren't right and will only lead to more destructive things, think again. 

Let me pass on some deep words of wisdom that are as true today as they were when they were written. Not my words but those of a man who by experience had been there and done that, and as a result, fires a warning shot over the bow of every soul that will ever live... "Why, my son, be captivated by a seducing woman [or anything that takes you captive in your mind - my words]? Why embrace a foreigner’s [someone who doesn’t belong to you] bosom? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of God, He observes all his paths. The iniquities of a wicked man will ensnare him. The cords of his sin will hold him down. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly." Proverbs 5:20-23 TLV

Think of it like this… faithfulness is POWER. It takes courage and wisdom, determination and keen discernment to turn the other way… to say NO! When we sow seeds of faithfulness it will reap a harvest of life. Generation after generation will follow in the footsteps you now choose to walk in. What path will you take? Not just now, but every minute of every single day? 

Don't rob yourself or those you love or hope to love of a peaceful future. A moment now that starts in your mind out of whatever it is that is driving it is not worth the destruction it will reap as well as the undercurrent of guilt and shame it will remind you with forever. Take this as a warning from one who truly knows. 

Jesus said if you are faithful in the little things [which are actually the big things], then you will be able to be trusted to be faithful with things far beyond imagination. 

Learn faithfulness and then… be faithful.

Steven Bliss 
© 4/11/18

I LIVE: MY PSALM

For fourteen long years You have removed me, You have reproved me and taken away my strength. All I possessed, piece by piece, one by one You took it all away until there was none. Darkness covered my eyes. My soul was crushed and poured out like bitter wine.

In kindness and mercy You let me see the blackness of my soul and the stench of my unauthorized and hypocritical words. You promised me that You would and You have been faithful to Your word.

Who did I imagine myself to be? Who did I think I was? How blind was my blindness? What possessed me to believe You didn't see every deed, hear every word, and know my every thought? What made me think I was unrestrained, immune to consequence or discipline knowing what I know, having seen what I have seen?

Fourteen years I despaired. In my blight I took it upon myself to fulfill what I thought best for me. I knew what You had promised me yet I was held back by a wall of my own unbelief as I banged my head against steel doors. Afflicted and bowed down I wallowed in the muck and mire of my own undoing as I cried out, O Lord, woe is me.

But You O God are great and glorious in Your splendor. Long-suffering in Your kindness and merciful when You reprove. You never waivered though my seas raged and world collapsed, You stood patient and unchanging; Your love? Unrelenting. Your hands always open and arms outstretched.. always waiting.

How can I speak? What words could I say? I am humbled by Your faithfulness to me, the one who turned his back and defiled Your Name. I am... speechless.

Affliction was Your rod upon my back and mercy Your prodding staff guiding me ever home. What kind of love will let you go to discover a bitter, hollow end only to patiently wait for your eyes to open, your ears to hear... revealing the depth of who You are... how You care... why You died... and how much You love... how much You love me.

If ever I was sure

If ever I was confident

If ever there were a reason to believe God’s steadfast love is incomprehensible... then I am and my life and the words that flow from my soul testify to my personal encounters with Love personified.

Lord You are good! You are good! You are God…

and You are GOOD!

On this day, at this moment,

Here and now...

Never changing and ever-present...

You are as You have always been…

And because You are and You are love...

I LIVE! 

Steven Bliss

© 1/15/18

HONESTY

In a deceit driven world where covers and curtains are the norm, human beings grapple with the idea of honesty and transparency. We see it everywhere. It's on the news all day long and surrounds our world like a blanket covering up people's bad choices. 

Whether its political or in the entertainment world or in the highest perches of business or the most intimate world of personal relationships, people don't want other people to know either what they're doing or what they have done. Whether it's about getting ahead or hiding one's sins honesty has been sacrificed for personal gain. 

I have no fingers on my hands with which to point at anyone. As disgusting as it is to watch and as indignant and self-righteous as I can get over the level of deceit that I see and read about that possesses our political and social world, it all boils down to human beings trapped in a broken world ruled by the father of lies himself.

I'm fully aware of my own entrapment driven by guilt and shame. The earlier it begins in a child's development the more difficult it becomes in that person's potential journey to freedom. Fear and shame drive a hard road into hiding. They are evil taskmasters designed to trap the soul and incarcerate the mind. They cripple the mind with the idea that if one is found out they will be cast aside and rejected. It is a common theme that threads its way throughout humanity. And what could be worse? Who doesn't seek approval? Who doesn't want to be accepted, and most of all loved?

When I was 7 years old over the course of close to a year I was sexually violated by 16-year-old female babysitter. I was a little boy and suddenly I was exposed to things no child should know. Every time it happened she would tell me not to tell; and so the hiding, fear and shame began. To make matters worse, not long after it all had happened she moved away and left me feeling confused, empty and afraid. Love and sex were now blurred. I had no idea of the ramifications and long term effects that had been inflicted upon me. My innocence had been stolen and my 7-year-old conscience knew something was wrong but I was afraid to tell. 

I became keenly aware of guilt and shame. They became my close companions driving me deeper and deeper into a place of hiding, into a world of secrets. Everything inside me emotionally began to shut down and a different world emerged. I began to act out. Like a clogged pore, my surface began to erupt. I had no idea that I had become a slave. What it did to me by opening that door was open my eyes to things innocense should never see. That is the plan of darkness: trap the mind before it can reason right and wrong and you ensnare the adult. (Here is where the church has missed it. It doesn’t address a world it cannot see or understand. It wants to save but it doesn’t understand know how to set you free from chains that have bound so many from their youth.)

Where were my parents you ask? I didn't tell them until I was 48 years old. They sat dumbfounded in silence as I recalled the details of what had happened to me. They were shocked that I even remembered her name and the house where she lived. 

I began to live a life of wrong choices that inevitably required me to cover my guilt. I needed to lie because that's what you do, right? Without going deep into all the sordid details, I didn't just sin a little… I sinned a lot. It was all about me. Relationships became a difficult thing to maintain because love and sex were one. It took most of my life to realize they are not. Acceptance for me was based in my performance and my performance always found a way to crash and burn eventually. It sabotaged me virtually every time. My choices were all wrong. I chose the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. The very thing I wanted more than anything eluded me because I was unable to receive love, which stifled my ability to give it. I was trapped in a world of self-deceit hiding my secrets, which only made things worse.

I couldn't face the man in the mirror for very long.

Even when I became a Christian and began to learn about the love of God for me, it was cerebral but my soul couldn't fully embrace it because I was always ashamed, even though I knew God knew everything. My rescue began there. God knew it would take time. He filled my mind with Him. He came close to me and let me hear Him. I wanted Him my whole life. He talked to me when I was 5 and told me what I would do when I was older. He also knew what would happen to me. His patience was unending, His love always pursuing and His arms, no matter how far I got or how hard I fell, were always open. 

Truth sets us free. There is no such thing as my truth or your truth, this person's truth and that person's truth. There is only one truth and it comes from God. The most difficult thing about honesty is that God requires it from us. He wants us to face the truth with Him. He knows the power it has to deliver us. That can only be achieved by letting Him penetrate our darkness with the light of His truth; which can only be realized through transparency and humility and our willingness to forsake our shame and guilt, to abandon our fear for the unlimited possibilities of life, liberty and freedom!

In the Bible King David, a man well acquainted with lying and hiding his guilt and shame said it like this in Palm 51, [interpretation by me] "You (God) delight in truth (full honesty and transparency) in my soul. It's there You teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Rid me of this blight with the blood of Your sacrifice and I shall be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Let my freedom cause me to hear and know joy and gladness once again and let my bones that needed Your breaking rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and by Your love erase the imprint of all my immoral acts and deeds. Create in me a pure and honest heart, O God, and renew a spirit of right within me."

Paul said in Galatians, "…it was for FREEDOM Messiah has set us free." I've been around the world and talked to many people and I can tell you that the consensus is unanimous; America has something no other place in the whole world has. Those who come to her know it well. She gives freedom to all. But it's not until they taste freedom that they fully understand what it means to be free. Freedom for us only comes when we taste and see that what God offers us is good. It’s then we begin to understand. As long as we hide, as long as we are driven by whatever motivates us to preserve ourselves we will never understand the power of God's mercy, His acceptance and the sacrifice He made to deliver us from our chains and restore us to Himself by His never-failing always patient love. L’chaim! To LIFE!

This is nothing new, as a matter of fact it's as old as time. It's as old as the story of the Garden of Eden where God came to Adam who was hiding because of the guilt and shame of his disobedience and asks him, "Why are you hiding?" Adam told God it was because he was naked and ashamed. God's response to Adam was "Who told you were naked?"

The father of lies has never changed. The story is repeated over and over and the results are always the same. Billy Joel said “Honesty is such a lonely word” but the truth is... honesty brings the greatest Friend you could ever have who will never ever leave you alone.

© 2018 Steven Bliss

DO RIGHT

At the end of last year I was blessed to have 40 minutes with a man named Darnell who was grateful to be 48 years young. He was a soft-spoken middle-aged man who walked with great distinction, well kept and finely dressed and very humble. 

As we drove I asked him if he was from the area. “Yes sir, born and raised in Franklin, Tennessee. When I asked what he did he told me that he was a teacher. "Of what?" I inquired. "I taught English at Centennial High School." "Taught?" I said. "Yes, until I had my strokes." I looked at him and stared... "Strokes?" He said, "Yes, I had four." "FOUR!" He said, "four in one day." I suddenly noticed a little slowness in his speech and responses. 

I didn't want to dwell so I changed directions. "So where is your family originally from Darnell?" I asked. "Six generations born and raised in Franklin." Slowly I turned and gazed upon his stoic and very compassionate profile as he stared out the windshield. "Yes sir, he said, born and raised.”

I slowed down at that point as we made our way along that tiny curvy road with no shoulders. "So Darrell, your family were slaves?" With the sound of tires on the pavement he softly replied, “Yes.” In an attempt to not be obvious, I began to study this man whose past goes back almost 200 years in the soil I now drive on.

Sophisticated and kind, his eyes were like pools of time standing still as he slowly turned his face to me and with great pride said, "My family is pretty well known here, you may have heard of us? Booker… we are the Booker family?" Oddly enough because of my love for history and living here for 25 years, I had. I knew there were several slave families that had faired well over the years after the Civil War. 

I told him how much I hate slavery and that I was sorry for what had been done to his family so long ago. I said, “To me, the enslavement of any man, woman or child goes against everything I believe in. It goes against God who created us all in His image to be free. He nodded and said, yes. And on that winding road under a full moon’s light, two total strangers from opposite worlds were in full agreement. He thanked me, though I'm not sure why? 

He told me about his older sisters and how the three of them were the first in the history of their family to go to college and get degrees. A tear ran down my cheek. I was glad it was dark. 

"Your father and mother must be so proud of you, Darnell.” He replied they were. “You are very special Darnell, I said, especially to God." He humbly smiled and said yes… that he was blessed. "My father was very strict with us. He would always say to me, "Darnell, if you do right, right will follow you." 

Suddenly for me time slowed way down as we arrived way too soon at the place he was going. 

As he slowly opened the door I told him that it was such an honor and privilege for me to have him in my car and that I will never forget him. I encouraged him to write his family's story. That is was important for us to hear. Again he thanked me and said perhaps he will.

With a look of deep gratitude he shook my hand and slowly got out of my car thanking me again as he blessed me. I sat there and watched him walk slowly up to the door where his friend greeted him with a deep and long hug as I pulled off into the night. 

For the next 30 minutes as I wove my way back to the heart of Franklin his words "If you do right, right will follow" ran like blood through my veins. I've not stopped thinking about Darnell Booker our conversation or the words he lived by from his father. I knew my Father wanted the same for me. When I got home I immediately looked it up because I knew it was there… there in the Bible. And when my eyes landed on the words of King David I knew that night was for me. "The Lord freely gives everything to those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11 Then I read the words of Paul who said, "Do what is right and you will have praise for the same." Romans 13:3

I knew that night God used Darnell Booker to speak to me. It was, shall we say, a Divine appointment. 

Tonight as I hear the faint sound of a train whistle blowing in the distance as it rolls through Franklin somewhere, I think to myself, right’s not always popular. Sometimes right seems wrong. Often times right requires great sacrifice but it always rewards the doer. This year like no other year... each day like no other day... moment by moment I want to do right so that right will follow.

Steven Bliss

© 1/5/18